Saturday, July 31, 2010

Polycast 100 was quite awesome


I thought it was going to be run a little differently, including the introduction I got. I was a "mystery guest", and I thought everyone would be trying to guess who I was, so I had a few lines ready to go. But, most likely thanks to technical difficulties in getting connected to the call, Dan gave away who I was before I could get on, so I tossed out the silly voice and impersonations and just did a few gags I'd prepared in advance, riffing on Phil (The MEAT in Team) and Maki, our Nikki Reed impersonator. (This one, not that one.) Or would that be impersonatrix? I don't know that works. And I got one on KMad. I just thought of another one, but it's too late now. Maybe if we're ever on a show together I'll remember it and hit her with it.

It was a lot of fun, and when he releases the final version, I hope he keeps most of it in. Once again, I want to applaud Dan for his technical achievements, and this time I also want to applaud his assistant, MLS (sorry, I'm terrible with names) for keeping the show going so smoothly.

When it comes out, I'll be sure to let you guys know.

There were a few good gags in the chat window, but because of my computer set up, I had to close the chat window while I was on the Skype call, and then when I left the call, had to bring the chat window back up, which took a few mins, so I missed out on some good chat. I also had about 10 minutes where I was completely off-line due to my internet connection going down, but thankfully not during my appearances.

One thing I did catch right after my scheduled appearance was over and I got the chat running again, though, was that one of the guys who'd been on before me gave me a really cool compliment, but he was kind of chastising himself at the same time. He said, "I wish I could've been that funny and interesting."

Thanks! I appreciate the vote of confidence.

If I may, I'd like to suggest that you don't need to lower yourself to praise me. One of the many things I've been doing with my life lately is finding out where I'm sabotaging myself. If I had given a compliment like that in the past, it would have been meant as sincere flattery, but at the same time, it would have been a put-down for myself. I've spent quite enough time putting myself down and ignoring people who tell me how great they think I am. I was afraid to be "full of myself" or something like that, but I know now that such talk, when done over the course of years, especially one's formative years, robs us of our self-confidence and our ability to realize that we DO deserve to be on the Earth.

There are plenty of people who don't think the rest of us belong, and most of us just go along with it, wanting to get along and not make any waves and avoid getting beaten up. I don't worry about that so much any more; I don't keep my opinions to myself as much as I used to. I don't mean that in a brash way, I mean it in an assertive way. I have a right to be here and take up as much space as I take up, and if you can't deal with that, that's your problem, not mine.

So what I want to say is, when offering thanks, you can offer them from a place of strength and self-worth. You can say, "you were very funny and interesting," without having to demean yourself. Your praise was intended as a gift, and I thank you for it in the spirit in which it was intended, and I hope in the future, when you offer such a gift to others, it will be a much better one that comes from someone who is confident, instead of someone who feels like they need to treat themselves like dirt to fully appreciate me. Would you rather have the thanks of a man who is at least your equal, or would you rather they come from someone who isn't even that much? I'll take either, of course, but I'd prefer it from my equals and betters, and I'd prefer it if you allowed yourself to be my equal or better.

(For those of you wondering, one of my friend is the world-renowned Savvi, a thought adjuster, and I'm trying to put some of her teachings into use and share them with others so we can all say more positive things about ourselves to ourselves.)


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